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How very dare you!

Newton, Sir!? Newton!!?? How very dare you!?

Newton, need I remind you, looks like this:-

Newton. On a good day.

No, I live in West Kirby. The sleepy little seaside village I mentioned earlier. Which I think you’ll recall looks like this:-

West Kirby, as seen from the Marine Lake.

After we left school (and I can confirm I did stop speaking to you in 1983 – though quite involuntarily), I went to College in Leicester, got kicked out, came home, moved back to Leicester, came home, went to College in Wales, came home, lived in France, came home, moved to Watford, came home. And I’ve lived here ever since. All that moving around was making me feel quite queasy.

So, why on earth did you end up in Canada? Just to avoid me?